Chipped teacups, heavy curtains.

New start, old ways.

Salty tears, mid-night distractions.

Old habits, new locations.

Drunk baths, slippery sheets.

New tastes, old feelings.

The new is old, and the old is new.

I just happened to realize a day too late.

YOU:
A thread-bare cloth.
Perfectly serene and scented with memories.

ME:
A matchless string.
Desperately searching..clinging for hope.

No. I will not loosen my grip.

I will hold you. I will hold you.
No! I will not let you go.
Yes, I am a silly girl.
Dear, I know it doesn't match.

Fragmented. Tattered.
Shred to pieces.
What else do I call you?
What else do I call myself?

Still I search for you.
With my fist clenched tight.

All the while our hearts were swooning,

Desperate to belong.

To what, we weren't quite sure..

So we indulged in the mysteries of our fragile souls.

We tried to understand and we tried to be understood.

With every fiber of our beings, we gave and we gave.

We gave it all away with our selfish desires.

But still empty we were.

Why can't my tongue produce the words to describe it?

The ache, the depth..

Tears can't explain it either.

Sweat drips down .. no, it pours down in anticipation.

We're almost there.

Tears like ripened fruit.
Laughs budding at just the right time.
Up. Down. Up.
That's how they play.

I wanted a different way.
The rugged terrain.
No fruit. No flowers to lead the way.
Just the ugly..the truth.

Like a snare for a rabbit,
I got out.
Out of all the hype.
Now it is real. Now I'm free.

It is real,
I am a fruit sucked dry. A petal withered.

I have tried to fight you.
Tried to fight for freedom.
To find out what it is.
To find it without you.

But, a hypocrite as I am,
I should have known.
There is no freedom in fighting.
Only death and destruction.

Only pain.
Only emptiness.

Please, don't leave me now.

With you last night.

You, with your merriment.

Everything was normal.

Everything was crazy.

Drink. Smile. Drink. Laugh.

So tired, our bodies so full.

So content.

Softly stroking my arm.

Surprised, I had never seen that look on your face.

A confusing smile.

And then my hand took yours.

You slid your body closer to mine.

Your head pressed upon my chest.

You were sweetly sad.

Like, you were just wanting some comfort.

I was solemn.

Aching for something real.

It brought me back..

To that time..

What you said about your sadness.

And how we all do that.

[We all try to replace God.]

Our leaves are wilted.
Water is scarce.
We look up with tears.
If only you would water us.

My death spreads deeper to my veins.
I am in love with you, dear source of my life.
Fill this dried and dessicated shell.
My sanity is forged in your life.

No direction do I have.
What is North?
What is any of it without depth in these vessels?
Disgraced by all else.

I thought I knew.
It was black and white.
My North was meddled with by thieves.
Now it is grey.

You don't mind, do you?